User blog:Shrek-it Ralph/Top Ten: Weaklings in Fiction
They are plenty of strong characters in fiction. But what about the other side of the group. In this Top Ten, I look at the top ten weakest characters of all time. So sit back, and enjoy! Number 10: Mr. Satan/Hercule(Dragon Ball Z) Now before you say people like Yamcha or Krillin are weak, they actually are not. This guy is though. Hercule/Mr. Satan/Mark, whatever you call him, he's just a pussy. He cries, he fakes stomach aches, he has to cheat to even stand a chance, and gets his ass kicked by everyone. The only people he ever actually beat was Spopovich and some zombies. But there are worse than Hercule. Oh there are. Number 9: Jigglypuff(Smash Bros) Jigglypuff may look good, considering she's got 5 jumps and is quick, but that's not enough to make up for the crap she is. Her moves leave her wide open if she misses, if her shield breaks she instantly dies, and one of her grabs looks like she's raping the opponent. She is so bad, that she didn't even appear in Brawl's story mode. Number 8: Dan Hibiki(Street Fighter) This guy is like the face of all weaklings. He was made to suck! His fireballs have shitty range, his other moves leave him wide open if he misses, and he has probably the lowest health bar in SF4. He cries when he wins, he randomly taunts throughout a fight, and his moves are slow and weak. And don't even get me started on his ridiculous win quotes. Number 7: Toad(Mario) Now we're getting there. Toad is not only a coward, but he is useless, annoying, he cries whenever someone like Bowser is near him, and he literally flips Mario off in Super Mario Bros for the NES. Sure he can play sports, but most of time, he just stands, being the baby he is, and screwing his purpose that he's there to defend Peach from Bowser. Number 6: Tingle(Zelda) No comment. Number 5: Goombas(Mario) I know, another Mario character, but this just had to be on the list. Goombas are Bowser's first line of defense, but they suck so much, Bowser had to upgrade them with wings, power ups, green boots, and even have a king. But they still suck! They get taken down in one hit, will not stop walking, even if they're near a cliff, and can surprisingly play baseball, even though they have no hands. Number 4: Mokap(Mortal Kombat) And you thought Johnny Cage was weak, take a look at this piece of shit. Mokap is seriously suckish. He has too many generic moves, like a fireball, and a flip kick. He was scrapped after Mortal Kombat Armageddon, and it's best to keep it that way. Number 3: Glass Joe(Punch Out) Oh god, it's the top 3. And you can't have a list of weaklings without this guy. Glass Joe is basically the equivalent of a human punching bag. He stands there and lets Mac hit him over and over and over again. Once in a while, he'll throw a punch, but it's so slow, it's not even worth the time. But, he has defeated one person according to his record, so I'll give him kudos for that. Number 2: Slippy Toad(Star Fox) Slippy Toad is easily one of the most annoying and weakest characters of all time. He constantly relies on you to help him kill the enemy on his tail, he whines, he complains, he constantly screams, and his voice is so annoying, that he's probably the most killed character on purpose because players were tired of dealing with Slippy's shit. But he does help you in one way by showing you the boss's health. Recap Alright, before we reach number 1, let's recap: Number 10: Hercule/Mr. Satan Number 9: Jigglypuff Number 8: Dan Hibiki Number 7: Toad Number 6: Tingle Number 5: Goombas Number 4: Mokap Number 3: Glass Joe Number 2: Slippy and now for Number 1: Number 1: Magikarp(Pokémon) What! Magikarp is weaker than Slippy???? Well, Slippy may be a pussy, whiner, and a weakling, but he can fight for himself occasionally and is the brains behind Star Fox. Meanwhile, Magikarp has no redeeming qualities. He has two moves, Tackle and Splash. Tackle does little to no damage, and Splash is about as useful as one of Dan's taunts. He's so weak, that people make fun of him, and compare him to people like Yamcha for crying out loud. Most people don't catch Magikarp, and that's probably for the best. Conclusion I hope you enjoyed my first top ten, and a new one will come out soon. If you want another top ten like this, request one below and for now enjoy! Category:Blog posts Category:Shrek-it Ralph